THE CLYDESDALE BANK.
National Australia Bank the owners of the Clydesdale Bank
has set aside further funds to meet the costs and compensation payments for the
mis-selling of financial products.Along with all the other product mis-selling
the Clydesdale Bank were particularly guilty when it came to Credit Card
Protection. On receipt of a new or replacement card albeit current account
card, debit credit card Clydedale’s customer could only have the card activated
by contacting a call centre which specialised in activating the card while mis-selling
CCP to customers at the same time.
Many, many people believed the sales pitch which involved
scare stories about how without CCP their accounts could be cleared out but
failing to mention that CCP was a bit of a scam because the cards were covered
anyway under basic banking rules.
Just how much compensation the National Australia Bank
ended up having to pay out after the purchase of Clydesdale came as a bit of a
shock to the Aussies.
But they were warned prior to purchase, I say warned but
it was really a case of “tut tut tut.....tut.....tut, tut,tut” and “What’s that
Skippy, the Clydesdale Bank has been mis-selling financial products, and Timmy
has fallen down a well”.
Seems they got so involved in getting Timmy out of the well
that they completely forgot to do any due diligence before shelling out for the
Clydesdale Bank. Either that or they were too drunk to care.
NAB is refusing to reveal how much funds they have put
aside. In cash terms at least, but they did admit that the amount is approximately
the equivalent of what an average Australian spends annually on lager.
Therefore the amount is thought to be in the tens of millions.
SOCHI.
Meanwhile at the Sochi winter Olympics the organisers didn’t
sell very many tickets for the Biathalon. The reason being that they refused to
advertise the event because it has Bi in the title. And for that reason they
also didn’t advertise the Gayathalon either, but ticket sales for the
Heteroathalon were brisk. Team GB curlers managed to win a bronze. The
Canadians won the gold because unlike Team GB Canada moved with the times. The
Canadian team were using Dysons whereas Team GB stayed old school with brushes.
Team GB’s skip Eve Muirhead said she was delighted with the
bronze and she and the team are looking forward to coming home and begin their
hunt for husbands. Eve said “Now that we’ve proven that we can keep floors
clean, all we need to do is now prove our dusting and cooking skills and we’ll
be up that aisle quicker than you can say Bronze is the new Gold”.
If Team GB can win two more medals today this will make it
Britain’s most successful Winter Olympics ever. The total currently stands at
3, one gold and two bronze,which given how much the UK sports bodies have spent
on training Winter Olympians for Sochi works out at £33m per medal. A £100m
that could have been saved by telling British Winter Olympians “Stop being so bloody
awkward and away and do a sport that doesn’t involve snow and ice that the UK
doesn’t really have”
Even if we do win 5 medals it’s a hardly an open decked bus
going through London celebration is it. It’ll be more of squeezing the winners
into the back of a Volkswagen Golf convertible. Sochi hasn’t been that much of
a success for the BBC either as viewing figures are very low. In fact it if it
wasn’t for the BBC doing daily compilation clips of people falling over and
badly hurting themselves they’d have no viewers at all. All that’s missing from
the clips is a Harry “You’ve Been Framed” Hill voiceover.
