THE CARROT FIGHTERS
Tesco have had to draft in extra security to control
shoppers fighting over cut price fruit and veg.
Some have even been injured and were rushed to hospital to
have carrots and cucumbers and other such marginally pointed vegetable removed
from where the sun doesn’t shine. The situation is somewhat different in
Scotland where people are injured in the Tesco vegetable aisle in the stampede
to get away from such strange and alien looking objects.
It’s a bit strange that shoppers could end up in court on
assault charges because they wanted to save 10p on Brussel Sprouts and someone
got between them and their 10p off vegetables.
If Tesco shoppers should be fighting over anything it
should be the latest must have, have to have, and if I don’t get it my kids
Xmas will be ruined – toy.
Unless of course there are some odd kids out there who
indeed want discounted fruit or veg as a Xmas present.
This leads me to believe that the parents have
misunderstood the request and when their child told them that they wanted an
Apple and an Orange they actually meant an Apple Ipad and an Orange Smart
Phone.
BARGAIN MISSERS
Research has found that older shoppers are missing the
bargains.
Apparently the older we get the worse we are at spotting
bargains. This is maybe why the Liberal MP Ming Campbell on average spends £93
for a packet of cornflakes. And it also explains why when you ask a member of
B&Q’s staff for a cheap screwdriver they return with the most expensive one
they can find. Well they are all very old aren’t they? Yes, and it’s an
absolute nuisance that every B&Q store in the country closes from 3pm to
4pm to allow their staff to watch Countdown. They were also going to close from
12.15pm to 1pm to let their staff watch Bargain Hunt but that was just too much
for shoppers to bear.
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| MING, NOT VERY GOOD SHOPPER |
In tests older people failed miserably when it came to
picking out a bargain whereas younger people passed with flying colours.
Could be that it’s harder for older people to work out what
kilos and grams are on packaging. But for younger people, kilos and grams
thanks to the drugs culture are second nature to them.
A case in point being the Peru Two, younger people know
exactly the weight of the cocaine they were trying to smuggle out of Peru. But older
people were asking “11.5kg of cocaine, is that a lot, and what’s cocaine?”
2p Off
In the run up to Xmas Asda and Tesco are cutting their
petrol prices by 2p a litre.
Wow, what a saving. That’s like a whopping saving of almost
a whole £1 on a car with a 50 litre tank.
Santa must be over the moon because his reindeer are petrol
driven and as he goes round the world delivering gifts that’s a huge saving for
him, but for the rest of us, it’s a swear word £1.
Remember when petrol went up to 80p a litre and there were
lorry blockades and protests and panic buying. Not panic buying of petrol, but
panic buying of bread. I don’t know why but whenever any sort of industrial
action takes place people buy as many loaves as they can.
I could see the point of that if Kingsmil or Hovis staff
were going on strike, but the threat of petrol shortages?. Unless of course
these people have cars that run on bread and they are keeping that fact secret
from every other motorist.
Asda and Tesco are heralding the 2p off like it’s the
coming of the Messiah which is a bit insensitive in multi racial, multi
religion Britain.
Both supermarkets are plugging their 2p off by saying if
Joseph and Mary had travelled from Nazareth to Bethlehem by car they’d have
saved £1.60 off normal prices. And if they’d taken the car the Baby Jesus would
not have had to be born in stable, he could have been born in the back seat of
the car. They stopped short of saying that this was maybe where the Baby Jesus
was conceived because that could have been considered blasphemy.
HELP
When the credit card bills come in at the end of January
and you find yourself in serious financial trouble, remember the Consumer Kings
are here to help on
