A LOAD OF BALLS
Ed Balls has been squirming with embarrassment over his
connections with Paul Flowers. Balls is angrily what he’s branding a smear
campaign over Labours connections with the ex Co-op chairman. Basically he’s
saying “it’s not about me, and how me got £50K from the Co-op, it’s about all
the poor Co-op customers worried about being Co-op customers” adding “look my
face isn’t bright red with embarrassment that I’ve been caught. My face is
bright red because I’ve just this very minute taken the male menopause”.
Balls insisted that Flowers, a former business adviser to
Ed Miliband is no longer a member of the Labour Party. Flowers doesn’t know it
yet because no one can find him to tell him.
The big problem for Balls is that bragged about this role
in rubber stamping the legislation that paved the way for the disastrous
takeover deal at the Co-op.
Balls also denies this. He said “That’s a lie, I didn’t
brag about any role I had in rubber stamping the legislation because how could
I when I have never, ever, even heard of the Co-operative Bank”
Questions are also being asked about the “soft loans” the
Labour Party received from the Co-op. A soft loan is basically Flowers handing
Labour a cheque for £1.2m and telling them “pay it back without any interest,
and there’s no rush, sometime this millennium will be fine, and by the way here’s
an extra £50k free gratis for my BFF Ed Balls to help with his office costs”
Balls is trying his hardest to distance himself from
Flowers and complaining that the Prime Minister is making cheap political
points rather than sorting it out. Of course Balls does a lot of distancing when
things go wrong. He still hasn’t accepted any responsibility for his role in
the last Labour administration which left the country in such a mess after he,
Gordon Brown and Ed Miliband took out a £20b loan. Not from the World Bank who
it is normal for countries to borrow from. They took out the loan with Wonga.
Balls is also demanding a full inquiry into how someone
like Flowers who with no banking experience somehow ended up as a bank
chairman. Yes, he wants an inquiry now. He didn’t want an inquiry when someone
like Flowers who with no banking experience was handing over the banks money
with no questions asked. Anyone who has ever dealt with a bank will know that a
bank handing over money, WITHOUT having them jump through hoops and putting
their house and their kidneys up as collateral could be regarded as highly
suspicious.
So how did Flowers become the Chairman?. What happened
was that Flowers was unemployed and the Dept of Works and Pensions told him to
take the job as the Chairman of the Co-op or they’d stop his benefits.
On the upside the unemployment figures did drop by one
and they dropped quite a few more because with Flowers now having a bank
chairman’s wages coming in he was employing half a dozen rent boys, not
forgetting the drug dealer he had on retainer.
In a series of increasingly bad tempered Tv and radio
interviews Balls insisted that he was unaware about the allegations concerning
Flowers. Balls increasingly bad temper was due to every Tv and radio
interviewer suggesting that his pants were on fire and that his nose was longer
than a telephone wire.
Balls rejected Tory calls for him to repay the £50k but
Balls insisted “I have not got £50,000 in my office to give back, and I don’t
think it would be the right thing to do”.
He doesn’t have the £50k
because he spent it on “I love Paul Flowers” T shirts, and he doesn’t
think it’s the right thing to do?.
Balls doesn’t think it’s the right thing to do as it
would be homophobic not accept £50k from someone just because they used rent
boys and had been convicted of gross indecency.
In saying that Balls admitted he knew all about Flowers
when he accepted the cash.
Tory Mp Brooks Newmark said “This raises serious concerns
about Ed Balls relationship the Co-op bank and the role he played in the merger.
It also proves a sham of recent attempts to distance himself from Flowers”
A spokesman for Mr Balls said. Actually he couldn’t say
anything as he collapsed and was rushed to hospital suffering from exhaustion. Exhaustion
brought by a week of 24/7 spokesmanning on the Flowers scandal for Ed Balls.
Has any good come out of this. Yes, everyone who didn’t
know what Balls was like, and admittedly it isn’t many, now sees him for
exactly what he is.
A cringy embarrassment.
OFGEM
Energy regulator Ofgem has told five of the big electricity
companies to cut the cost for consumers. Three of the companies responded “we
would but we just can’t be bothered” and the other two said they’d respond once
they stopped laughing”.
There’s a joke that energy companies tell which is: what’s
got 22 legs and no testicles. Answer the 11 members of the board of Ofgem.
That’s almost funny, if a bit untrue as three of the
board are women. But to ask: what’s got 22 legs and no testicles, but three of
whatever has got no testicles are women, is far too much of a set up.
Ofgem reckon that the power companies should be able to
deliver more for less. But the power companies claim that they have to invest
in the infrastructure, after which they had to ask “did we manage to say that
with a straight face”.
The answer is, no you didn’t.
ROYAL MAIL
Ofcom has told the Royal Mail that it must improve its
service after failing to deliver 93% of first class letters on the day after
they were posted. In response the Royal Mail said “Yes fair enough but we think
we should be congratulated because we deliver junk on time a 100% of the time”
In some areas the first class next day delivery rate is a
mere 62%. These areas apparently deal with a large volume of mail and it
therefore takes a lot longer for the staff to go through all the envelopes to
hold them up to the light to check if it’s a birthday car containing £10 sent
by a granny to a grand kid.
Ofcom have the power to heavily fine Royal Mail for not
meeting service targets. The problem with that is that to cover the fines Royal
Mail will simply increase their prices. So if the service targets are
consistently unmet sometime in the near future a first class stamp will cost
£874.99, and it will still take a week to deliver it.
