MORE FLOWERS
The Co-op has been plunged into fresh chaos as its chairman
Len Wardle resigned for being responsible for appointing crack addict Paul Flowers
to head the groups banking operation. It has emerged that Flowers is not only a
crack addict, but he also has a conviction for gross indecency AND had to quit
as a Labour councillor for having pornography on his official you shouldn’t
really have porn on it council computer. Crack, gross indecency and porn,
surprised he had any time left over to the do the job he was paid for.
Labour are now embroiled in the mess too and Ed Balls is
under pressure to return a £50.000 Co-op donation which was backed by the Rev Flowers.
Flowers attended a private meeting with Ed Miliband,
something Miliband sort of denies claiming “Yes I had a meeting with Mr Flowers
but we hardly spoke as he spent most of the time in the toilet or on his
computer”
But did Flowers crack, porn and grossness affect his
judgement?. According to Tory MP Brooks Newmark “Only someone who was out of
their face on crack would hand over £50,000 to Ed Balls”. That’s a fact that
can’t be disputed.
And really? Who apart from someone whose judgement is very
seriously would ever trust Ed Balls when it comes to money.
Critics have questioned why Len Wardle appointed Flowers, a
man with no banking experience, to the banking job in the first place. But
Wardle explained “I’d had a few drinks at the time, so…………”
Further revelations in the Daily Mail reveal that Flowers
allegedly had trysts with a rent boy in a hotel room paid for by the Co-op.
The bank doesn’t as yet know if the Co-op was billed by
Flowers for the £650 a night rent boy but given what Flowers has been up to on
the Co-op’s buck I’d check his company credit
card bill and look for any payments to any companies called Rentboys-r-us or
Boys2rent, or a payment paid to hire One Direction to sing topless as his
birthday party.
One person who is over the moon regarding the Flowers
scandals is Fred Goodwin. He’s taken to wearing a T shirt with the message “I
don’t look so bad now do I?” emblazoned on the front.
DIVORCE
Adam and Gillian Byford the couple who won £148m on the Euro
lottery just over a year ago have announced that they are getting a divorce. At
the time of their win the couple said that the huge amount of money they now
had would bring them closer. Everyone assumed that they meant closer together,
they meant closer to a divorce. The Daily Mail reported that they are now
living in separate mansions. Separate mansions? That’s just rubbing it in how
rich they are.
Ooh look at us, we can afford to live in separate mansions.
Kind of makes you feel a lot less sorry for them doesn’t it.
At the time of their win it was thought they’d spend most of
their winnings on personal trainers,
just to lose a wee bit of weight. It was also thought they’d lose the rest to a
dethroned Nigerian Prince who they’d meet over the internet. But no, they seem
to have held on to most of the money, apart from the £2m they had to pay Wonga
after missing two monthly payments in repayments for the £75 they’d borrowed.
The press noted that they celebrated their win with a Domino
pizza, so basically they celebrated with their normal breakfast, lunch, dinner and
mid evening snack, their late evening snack and their getting up in the middle
of the night because they were feeling a wee bit peckish snack.
Mr Byford continued to run his music shop because he loved
it so much but had to give it up because he got fed up with people begging.
Seems George Osbourne was never away from his door.
The thing is: why do people agree to have their lottery win
publicised. Most normal people would choose to remain completely anonymous
because all the relatives they never even knew they had would come out of the
woodwork and all be needing an urgent life saving operation for either
themselves or their hamster who has a tumour.
But that’s the lottery PR machine for you. They don’t want
such big winners remaining undisclosed because there wouldn’t be much PR value
in Camelot announcing that they’d handed £148m over and all they could say
about the winners was that they were maybe slightly overweight and maybe they
should be worried about diabetes.
