Andy Murray won the BBC Sports Personality of the Year.
Obviously the BBC has changed the rules to now allow people without any
personality to win it.
BALLS SACK?
A senior Labour figure has said that Ed Balls has nine
months to come up with a credible economic policy or he will be sacked. I guess
he’ll be sacked then because that’s the first time the words “Ed Balls” and “credible
economic policy” have ever been used in the same sentence.
Balls claims he does have a policy. Yes, but that entire
policy is just completely disagreeing with everything George Osborne says.
If George Osborne said “Okay I admit it, I’m the worst
Chancellor ever” Balls would say “George Osborne has got it wrong, he’s the
best Chancellor ever” and if George Osborne said “Ed Balls is a genius”. Balls
would say “No he’s not, Ed Balls is an idiot”.
One thing though, Miliband’s performance as Labour leader
and Balls performance as Shadow Chancellor disproves the phrase that “two Eds
are better than one”.
The Labour figure was asked if Miliband is ruthless enough
to get sack Balls. I hope so because I’m really looking forward to the Sun
headline; Balls Sack.
A headline that’ll be true and accurately descriptive.
The figure insists that Ed Miliband can be ruthless,
adding, if you don’t believe me ask his brother. You’ll find him still in
hospital having the knife Ed plunged into his back removed.
NIGELLA
And staying with matters financial. Nigella Lawson’s ex
assistant Francesca Grillo told a court that Nigella took cocaine to stay up
all night to write cookery books. Is Grillo Italian for grill, and if so did
Nigella only employ staff with kitchen equipment names?. Apparently she did as
her previous assistants have gone by the surnames Pano, Blendero, Mixero and
Cookero.
If the cocaine fuelled cookery books are true it certainly
explains why Nigella has three cookery books published every week.
Miss Grillo said she was always finding rolled up banknotes
with white powder on them in Nigella’s handbags. But as Nigella explained in
court “the white powder on the notes was flour because I always carry a 2lb bag
of flour with me in case I have to whip up an impromptu lovely, tasty and
scrummy Nigella cake in an emergency”.
A cake emergency. Seems that happens a lot more times that
you’d think it would.
